The pulchritudinous potty-mouthed pretties who call themselves The Kinsey Sicks have treated West Hollywood to a taste of their NC-17 naughtiness before heading off for a week of West Coast touring, and as anyone who’s seen one of the queertastic quartet’s previous songfests could easily predict, The Kinsey Sicks: America’s Next Top Bachelor Housewife Celebrity Hoarder Makeover Star Gone Wild! makes for sixty sizzling minutes of double ententres and song.

unnamed For those not in the know, the Kinsey Sicks are Rachel (Ben Schatz), whose Marlo Thomas (circa That Girl) flip, jumbo Baby Snooks bow, and trucker’s way with words make her the perfect group leader; dim-bulbed Trampolina (Spencer Brown), beehive hair already halfway to heaven, a bladder the size of a peanut, and a libido that would do Nicki Minaj proud; dorky bespectacled redhead Winnie (Nathan Marken), without whom there would probably never be peace amongst the querulous quartet; and Asian glamour girl Trixie (Jeff Manabat), who’d doubtless like nothing better than to rename the group Trixie and the Kinsey Sicks, so Diana Ross-esque are her ego and Supremes-ready bouffant do.

The Sicks’ latest sextravaganza uses its reality show concept primarily as a jumping-off point for a dozen or so filthy-dirty song parodies with instantly recognizable pop-hit melodies and lyrics that would make “Weird Al” Yankovic blush … and then some. (“Sweet Talking Guy” becomes “Sheep Fucking Guy,” “I Will Follow Him” turns into “I Will Swallow Him,” and Cabaret’s “Mein [Lieber] Herr” becomes “My Beaver Hair,” to name just three of their XXX-rated ditties.)

Audiences may gasp in delighted dismay at lyrics like “I will swallow him. Swallow him whenever he may flow,” and when Rachel reveals pubic bush to rival an orthodox rabbi’s beard, dismay may turn to abject horror … but who doesn’t enjoy a bit of raunch now and then? I certainly do.

From original Kinsey Sickser Schatz (over two decades now as Rachel) to newbie Marken (who became Winnie just last year) to Manabat and Brown (whose Trixie and Trampolina joined somewhere in the middle), there’s not a less than drag-o-licious songbird in the Sicks, guaranteeing that Edinburgh Fringe Festival-goers will be in for a treat this coming August when The Kinsey Sicks arrive in the British Isles to take Scotland by storm.

While real people may opt to seek their fifteen minutes of fame on Bravo, Fox, and The CW, The Kinsey Sicks have already found their own nearly twenty-five years of gay stardom on stages from the Castro to Key West to WeHo.

As audiences the world round will tell you, there’s no more sicks-appealing foursome on the planet than the Kinsey Sicks, and The Kinsey Sicks: America’s Next Top Bachelor Housewife Celebrity Hoarder Makeover Star Gone Wild! is the Sicks at their absolute sicks-iest.

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Renberg Theatre at the Los Angeles LGBT Center’s Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N. McCadden Place, Hollywood

–Steven Stanley
June 10, 2015

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